老房子

去年的你俩


今年枝头怎么只有你

下午，在我人生最初五年待过的老房子，随外公外婆祭拜祖先。
每年年前都如此，这是我第二次随他们来。
外公认真的给祖上准备碗筷，倒上酒，叩头行礼，丝毫不马虎。

我在老房子的院子里坐着。想到那年夏天的“泼水节”，某年冬天的堆雪人。
很多的美好只存在了记忆里，因为长大了，要放弃很多。
不过即使只在记忆中一次次温习那些美好，这又有什么不好呢？
站远了才看到了……

I just don't know what to do with myself

it's my birthday, 21st.

got extremely sad last night, 10 o'clock, already in bed. no moon or stars whatsoever.

cellphones were within reach, but there was no one to call.

she's with another man(they literally live together now...), he's too sick to talk with(and i don't really think i would want to call him...)

felt the burn in my face, it was not enough, not enough to wake me up...

don't really know how the night passed. but i woke up in the morning anyway.

cuz it's my birthday.

I just don't know what to do with myself...

maybe i do, but maybe i don't.